This whole endeavour was originally inspired by a post on Lifehacker by Dick Talens titled “Four Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Healthier Person.” We don’t really know where it’s going yet. Or how we’re getting there. But I think we might enjoy the ride. I hope we can make your life better in some small way.
We are not doctors, we are not scientists, and we are not motivational speakers. We believe that you are not a special snowflake, and need to realize that there is no magic spell you can cast to avoid the hard work necessary to make changes in your life. If the result is worth it, you will put out the effort required to achieve it.
About Lincoln (not a doctor):
A few years ago, after being a fairly fat kid for most of my life, I managed to lose about 50lb. I didn’t get into ridiculously good shape or anything, but I suddenly became the guy that a lot of my friends came to asking about weight loss and fitness and whatnot, even though I really didn’t know what I was doing. When I get asked about something, I don’t like not having an answer that I can explain, that is backed up by some sort of evidence. And I generally try very very hard to not be wrong when I make declarative statements about things. [This makes me a joy at parties when I run into someone with an illogical or weakly supported position that I disagree with. Vegans are probably my favourite.] (House: If you ever get the chance, just do it to him for fun. It’s hilarious.)
So I started to read. And I read a lot. Way more than I needed to, without a doubt. Because it turns out that a lot of this stuff is really interesting.
And it started to bother me how much the mainstream media got wrong, and how often someone would come to me with a question that started with “I heard about this thing on the news…” and the only appropriate answers I could give them were either “do the exact opposite of what they told you” or “no, it doesn’t matter, don’t worry about it.”
Unfortunately, I still prefer cheesecake to broccoli [who doesn’t?], and probably always will. So I’ve had to figure out ways to let myself have the things I love without turning into a parody of Jabba the Hutt, but without the hot slavegirl [unless of course someone wants to apply for the slave girl position, which is currently vacant]. I think I’ve started to maybe have a tiny bit of an idea what I am doing. Mostly because I read lots of things by people a lot smarter than I.
So now I’m collecting my thoughts and responses to the questions I have been asked. And I’m working on getting into the best shape of my life.
About House (currently fat, also not a doctor):
I’m House. I, until further notice, am the resident fat ass. First and foremost (and I can not stress this enough) I AM NOT A FUCKING DOCTOR. Just someone who has lived it, and am working on losing it, and maintaining it (the hardest part). I have been a professional Cook/Chef for the last decade, and have picked up a few things along the way. I have been rather hefty [we here at TL&K vastly prefer the term “Chunky with Style”] for most of my life. At 18, I graduated high school at 370lb (I wish that number was my IQ or GPA instead, but sadly no). I lost 120lb and was on the fast track to healthy, then due to injury, got big again. (Lincoln: House also got a hot girlfriend. Hi Stef! This means he gave up on not being a massive fatass until I didn’t stop giving him shit about it.)<–Yea, he’s right. I can’t deny that. Fortunate enough to have an amazing partner that rides my ass (not like that, Lincoln) about getting in shape. Motivation! Love you Stef!
During my first weight loss, I spent a lot of time learning some nutritional stuff, lifting, and discovering what works for me, and can usually work for you so long as you work for it. It’s a life change for the better, and requires hard work. I mean sweat and the occasional tears. I quote Lincoln, “If you don’t look like you’ve just climbed out of a pool at the end of your workout, you’re not working hard enough.” (Lincoln: this doesn’t have to apply to everyone on a fat loss journey, just House.)
I decided enough was enough, and am here to chronicle my journey for you to see (it also holds me accountable to actually get off my fat ass and do something). To show that from what the two of us know, anyone, even you, can do it. Also, I exist to provide some entertainment with my misery, and to give advice when possible for those who ask. I know what it’s like, and can help. And to give some healthy recipe ideas (being a Chef has its perks, and healthy food doesn’t have to taste like grass and dirt, unless you’re into that sort of thing – I’m guessing vegan?).
Also, most people think Lincoln’s a dick. He is, but so am I. Anyways, enjoy the show.