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Part III: Why I Will Always Be The Problem

The Final Chapter (Not Really)

The struggle is real.  It is, and forever shall be an ongoing battle.  Making the choice whether or not to eat that cake or cheeseburger, or the alternative of pumping out that extra two reps and an extra five minutes on the spin bike.

As training persists, the latter becomes the obvious choice.  Psychologically speaking, the more “extra” training I do during the week, the less I feel guilty during my free meal.  I don’t gorge, but I feel more like I earned it, and the reward is all the sweeter.  It actually does taste better.

At first you will hate the idea of working hard to get into a better mental and physical state.  I know because I did.  But it becomes a feeling you enjoy.  Something you can become addicted to.  It has happened to me and a lot of people I know.  The “pump” if you will.  The feeling of tearing the muscle fibres and the swelling and rush of blood to them (or “pump” as my trainer buddies [Hi Chris!] call it).  It is an awesome feeling.

The biggest challenge is changing your routines and schedule to include activity.  Waking up half an hour sooner to start your day.  Prepping meals for five or six days.  Making time each day to go to the gym.  Trust me, it can be and is a fucking trial by fire.  But you need to make the change.  I had to adjust my schedules again to incorporate it.  It’s part of life.  Priorities pop up.  But your own well being is a major priority.  It needs to be.  You want to be around for your kids?  Make the time fuckers.  Want to impress that chick?  Put down the fucking cookie, pick up the freeweight.  It’s non-negotiable.

I know the struggle well.  Hit the snooze for five extra minutes, wake up a half hour later, day is rushed, gym is skipped.  Feel like a bag of shit.  Day ruined.

It’s so very easy to say “I’ll go tomorrow,” then skip the gym the next two days in a row.  Plan your days ahead of time.  Write that shit down.  It’s helpful and will keep you regimented.  I like to live free spiritedly a lot of time, but I work to make a set routine for getting to the gym.  You need to as well.  It’s an amazing way to let off steam.  Especially when dealing with people like “Janice-the-bitch-that-called-me-fat-but-doesn’t-even-know-me” from work (that twat can just ruin your day).

Remember when I briefly mentioned in Part II the portion of the mental battle?  I meant it.  Every word.  The mental game helps to tell that voice (let’s call him Bob for the sake of discussion from here on out) to leave you the fuck alone.  You have a task to do, and Bob being a prick to you doesn’t help one bit.  There is a movie I suggest you watch: Revolver, with Jason Statham (I know I didn’t mention the other things, but whatever).  The movie focuses on some key points dealing with the Ego and that little inner voice.  It’s very good, and you might learn something.

Anyways, I am constantly arguing with that inner voice inside my head (no I am not crazy.  I question my sanity on a daily basis, hour by fucking hour.  Even Bob agrees with me that I am not crazy).  Bob will try to convince me that I need to do something else of importance.  I usually agree too.  But I make him a deal and go to the gym first, or plan it so I go shopping, hit the gym, then home.  Or however you need to do it.  That voice is always there, being the disgruntled old man that swears at kids to get off his lawn.

He (or she) will be your biggest threat.  You have to master you, or you fail.  It’s all mind over matter.  Yes I know, cliche, but hey it works.  Tell yourself to do it.  Remember, you got your ass into this mess, you’re the only one who can get out of it.  Once you find your routine, change it up.  Not a lot though.  Just ever so slightly.  Otherwise it becomes stagnant and boring, you begin to plateau, and you give up.  Taking us back to square one.  Life isn’t supposed to be easy.  It’s all about learning.  You don’t want a challenge?  Get off now because you’re fucked.  But if you’re up for it, it’s a fun and interesting ride.

Oh, and all the things you will learn about yourself: what you can do and are capable of.  What your limits are and pushing past them, is a very exciting thing.  The things you learn about nutrition, and the physicality side, are actually pretty cool.  It also helps you to better teach others that have issues.
Enjoy the ride, and enjoy my misery, because remember: you’re next.

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